Hairy Matter

Although I love my new hair color. Black. I am not that crazy about the hair cut I got today. Although it wasn't bad and Ryan said it was okay. It was not what I was asking for.

I watched him slide his comb through my hair (the hairdresser). I wondered why I always sat like this in salons. As if I was 10 yrs old. I looked around me and everyone was just as stiffed as I was. I crossed my fingers, for I am once again in the mercy of this hairdresser. Completely helpless to his nips and cuts once he had already began. I told him what i wanted and of course he said he understood. I am very detailed when it comes to haircuts that I want. Arrogant hairdressers don't have time to really listen, that's usually the problem. They always want to project this confident aura, which in my case, when a hairdresser just nods, just says OK, doesn't even look at you in the eyes, I am almost sure, they didn't get it.

I was nervous the whole time, almost unhappy. He cut way more than I told him to. I specifically said "do not cut the layers above chin length" but he did. If only i could do my own hair...If only I knew how. I wouldn't have to submit the fate of my hairstyle to other people.

PaNaHoN Na =)

Ang Baduy ko for life =)

Pasensya ka na =) ang corny ko for life =)

Siguro gusto ko lang maramdaman na pwedeng balewalain ang oras, na may mas mahalaga sa oras o na kahit yung masabing MAY ORAS. Kung mayroon tayong isang bagay na hindi afford sa lahat. ORAS. Minsan nga kahit may oras, parang wala ring oras. Nakakasawa na rin pagusapan noh, basahin mo na lang pag maguusap na naman tayo para hindi ko na kailangan ulitin =)


Naisip ko lang rin ah ang oras pala at panahon may pagkakaiba din...ang panahon maraming pwedeng baguhin sa iyo, sa oras marami kang pwedeng baguhin (yun ay kung may oras ka)...at sa isang bagay lang sila pareho--- Lumilipas kahit anong pigil mo =)


Nakakaloko ba =) ang daming smileys pero parang senti naman =) oh well =) ito ang emote na nakangiti =)

(Baka may tamaan ding iba jan ~bukod pa sa kausap ko dito) hey hey hey =) magising na kayo...baka kasi oras na..)

BUHAY MAY ASAWA

I hate it when they limit who I am to having a family of my own. It is almost some sort of discrimination. Its like as if I have to wait for the whole world to have a family of their own and then we can bond as the desperate housewives and compare notes.


I don't hate having a family of my own. It has actually set my goals straight and kept me from doing what could have been the wrong things for years now. The part that i hate is when people REDUCE who I am to being just the girl who has a family of her own. Period. I don't know if you are getting me. I mean can the world stop highlighting that about me by now- everybody knows- I don't deny it-. I mean eventually.. if everyone goes into having a family of their own and every time we see each other in the future do i have to point that out to them as well that they have a family and all--- every freaking time?

For example today i asked for a simple friendly advice (about something shallow and possibly irrelevant) and the response I got was "should you be asking me,or should you be asking your hubby?"
Dude! I was just getting votes on whether to cut my hair short or not. Why make it sound like its a question meant only for the man in my life just because you're a guy and i threw the question at you. fyi-I asked 5 girls the same question.
Almost as if, whatever question pops in my head, I should ask no one but the man in my life. Should I make him God as well?


I'm not bitching on anyone. I just get this most of the time and its annoying sometimes. She can't do that, she has a family. She can't be this and that may ASAWA ASAWA ASAWA. I think I don't need to get married anymore, it seems I already am married after all. (MONEY SAVER!) Its okay to be deemed may asawa, =) it is technically the truth. But if you make everything about me depend on that fact, then I am nothing more than another girl na may asawa. PEOPLE GET OVER IT. MOVE ON. =)

Maybe I can do handstands...is it because may asawa ako. Maybe i snore when i sleep, is it because may asawa ako. Maybe I cry, is it because may asawa ako.


Last week I got a chance to talk to an old friend I haven't seen in a while. He asked how i was doing (he already knew I have a kid and all that) and I said I went back to school and now Im a graduating student. And immediately his response was "Nagaaaral ka? Hindi ba nag asawa ka na? Nagaaral ka pa?" Can i not go back to school just because of that?


Im telling you its getting on my nerves. "May asawa ka na, wag ka na mag ayos, okay lang maging lumba-lumba, wala na ako dapat paki sa mga ganun" Great. Huwag na rin kaya ako maligo. Maybe I should just roll over and die as well tutal may asawa na ako. >=)


In this perspective, I have nothing against women who stop their lives to live a life behind the shadow of the man they're with/love. But i guess just dont count me in. Let me keep myself, hindi naman masama yun di ba?


Social norms can mess up people's lives in small ways.
I appreciate what small pack of boy friends i have right now. There is such a word as "PLATONIC". HINDI NAMAN AKO GANUN KA PRETTY. duh!
And I appreciate the girlfriends who can still see the person that I am, girl pag nag asawa naman kayo hindi ko naman sasabihin na lahat ng taste niyo maging lola basyang na just because nag asawa na kayo di ba...di niyo naman like yun. =)

LoVE MaTTERS

We start out believing nothing on heaven or on earth could put it out. Love.

When I was younger, Love was an attraction, a feeling- a passion which cannot be tamed. As I grew up love became a matter of happiness and heartaches.
In the end, Love was a matter of choice and everyday decision..But now i realize it is so much more than that. Sure we can convince ourselves that the time we stayed together is proof of super duper commitment and undying love whatsoever and all couples should feel content already to know they are together. B.S.

B.S. ~~~NEVER BE CONTENTED.

I don't expect the world to agree.
But what I'm saying is sometimes people get too contented and confident,that they don't notice if they have stopped loving each other. And the next thing you know, someone is being taken for granted, neglected and even unconsciously avoided. And the sad part is they waste not only time itself but the time they count together. I mean what is seven, eight, nine, ten years when you stopped loving each other by year 4. What are numbers... but only numbers in the end.

When you stop at any point, its like you create a bubble, which can eventually stop your heart from beating.

At this point, one of you will want to let go. And then comes 'chances' to make it up. Love is chances as well. Its the many chances we are given to keep what might no longer be there but could still be there or to save what could be left of something which used to overflow but is now just a drying-up-stain on the ground.

If you just want to stay together forever. Yeah-sure be contented- you could just go to prison together with a life sentence to make it fun. But If you want to love forever- never be contented, - always keep the fire burning.

Cheers to those who have stayed crazy in love through decades.
Warning to those who are struggling to make it a decade.
A sign to those who know what I'm talking about.
A note to those who plan on staying together one more day.

RANDOM

I would like to believe that in my blog of blogs..I can be myself right?

1. Sometimes we do things that are dumb.
In tagalog slang terms "katangahan". I'd like to jump around screaming how dumb and silly I have been but when i think about it, all I can do is smile. Its not something we plan on doing but it happens, we play dumb-act dumb-hope dumb-do something dumb in a world where order and expectations are mostly set even before you had a chance to decide on them. I guess its okay. =) The world is a busy place, but when we live by so much routines, so much standards and stereotyped concerns, I guess the spirit gets bored.

2. I want to learn how to do the flying kick. So i can kick your face to the floor and hopefully give you a stiff neck. Crazy wishful thinking,I'd probably have better chances of pulling some hamstrings.
You are driving me away but unfortunately Im not getting anywhere away from you. You have deemed that as impossible. And I- HELPLESS.

PUZZLE No MORE

Thinking about it.

I realized no one is a puzzle ( unlike what I posted in fb). People are the way they are because that's who they are, what they are and how they are. It could be a little frustrating since sometimes the way people are, are mind boggling. I mean you wonder why they do 'this' and still do 'that'. It gets to me sometimes. I guess I'm just your regular social being...I get pissed off.

I wonder who i'm pissing off..if any. There could be someone out there who hates my guts right? sigh and once again this unfair world is actually fair after all =)

When you dont understand something inevitable in life...I've learned that we can try to love them..that way we do not have to understand them. we love them period. =)

--- (",)

IN NEED OF DETOX

Just keep on breathing - Management (Jennifer Aniston)

I dont know what the hell is wrong with me lately, para akong kinukulam ;p There really is no one i could share this psychological load with- the world has got problems of its own-who wants to hear more drama-.

I know what i have to do. I just need to do it.
Just keep on breathing.